"It's like I have a loaded gun in my mouth, and I like the taste of metal" -Robert Downey Jr. on his addiction to drugs

I JUST FOUND OUT THAT MY PAINTING I DID IN THE STYLE OF MARK ROTHKO LOOKS ALMOST EXACTLY LIKE ONE HE DID ONLY UPSIDE DOWN AND LESS BLUE.

FUCK HIM.

And what makes it worse is, I have to hand it in for school. So theylll either think I'm some kind of art thief, or I'll have to change it.

So, should I change? Or not? I mean, I can probably just add some green or some shit. Some white, maybe.

Or different colours in the same block?

MAYBE A THIRD COLOUR DOWN THE SIDE.

//end of line.

"When I wake in the morning,
I want to blow into pieces.
I want more than just ok, more than just ok.
When I'm up with the sunrise
I want more than just blue skies.
I want more than just ok, more than just ok."

You get my axe of capitalism, right in your face.

Watching the cloak right now.

So. Today i did a lot of spraypainting, and also i watched A Scanner darkly and Zodiac, two movies starring Robert Downey Jr. Yay.

Oh, and I was thinking - I really want to see a Doctor Doom movie. I mean, just about him. Because I think that would be really interesting, because he's not JUST a villain, he's got a good side too. And also I would love to see a villain movie. Not a hero movie. A villain movie.

And I can't wait for a Captian America movie. And Iron Man II. And The Avengers!!!!

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!

Oh God, that has to be the lamest warcry thing ever. Seriously. Assemble?

I want to buy comics so bad.... Something with Iron Man. Or an Avengers comic.

Or a Winter Soldier comic. And a Winter Soldier movie! I'd make that movie. My dream job is working at Marvel Studios.... I don't know as what, exactly. But doing something there.

I could be a director.... Or something.....

//end of line.

"I've got a hunger
Twisting my stomach into knots
That my tongue was tied off

My brain's repeating
"if you've got an impulse let it out"
But they never make it past my mouth."

i can ALMOST play golden by fall out boy on the piano now. im ashamed its taken me so long... its not like its that long a piece.

i saw shutter today. it was ok. a bit predictable though. and while there WERE some parts that made you jump, overall it was fairly mediocre. and i was surveyed about it after we left the cinema. some dude was standing there. and i actually told him what i really thought, instead of jsut saying it was ok or whatever. i take that as a step forward. go me!

to-do:
-english cheat sheet
-art cheat sheet
-economics study
-german 200w piece
-two artworks (well, really 1 3/4, because i already did part of one...)
-watch zodiac and a scanner darkly
-draw something i want to draw
-tommy/immer fanarts (need reference pics!!)
-get better myspace layout
-post shit to dA
-ink some pencil stuff
-finish pollock art and find another artist for my final piece

and i have to do the first 7 before monday.

next week:
MON: art SAC. economics SAC. english cheat sheet due in. german piece due in.
TUE: english SAC.
WED: going to art exhibition thing! :D yay a break!!!
THU: nuthin.
FRI: nuthin
WEEKEND: more arting.
MONDAY 26th: ART DEADLINE (FINAL)

art:
zoom+crop
1. eye/artist? DONE
2. lemon/artist?
3. iPod/artist?

painting styles
1. big sqaure crap/rothko DONE
2. squiggly crap/pollock
3. black and white crap/artist?

//end of line.

"

and not just of love songs (so sad and slow), neither. SICK OF ACTUAL SICKNESS.

oh god.... the whole right side of my face is all blocked up... aghhhhhhhh. ive been coughing and coughing and sniffing all the mucus in my nose. i swear im going to come to school on monday and not be able to talk.

for my own reference, work is sunday 12-5. MUST TAKE WORK CLOTHES.

SCO made me read today... im so fucking sick of plays. i want a good, solid NOVEL to read.

[rant] I HATE LITERATURE. not only are we doing hotel sorrento (which i HATE. HATE HATE HATE) we are very behind because SHE HAS BEEN TALKING ABOUT CRAP FOR EVER NOW. and then she has the gall to blame US for it, when she is the one who said we were going to start hotel sorrento last wednesday, and we DIDNT. so now she says we have to start lit class early on thursdays, to catch up. so we get there 20 minutes early. AND WHERE IS SHE?? she doesnt even turn up for another 10 minutes.

also, as i said, she made me read. which, usually, is all good. but now im sick, which is bad,. so at the start of the lesson, i ask if i can get a drink, because my throat was fkn KILLING me. i even said that (w/o the fkn part, of course) and she said yes.

then, not 10 minutes later, shes like, "hmm, who can read.... someone w/o a sore throat... oh, yeah, MEL." and im sitting there thinking, OH MY GOD WOMAN WHAT DID I JUST DO.

also i was meg, who i hate. hate hate hate. i hate that whole fucking play. everyones so self-pitying and self-righteous and so pathetic. also, i KNEW id have to read meg. i even said that to roz beforehand.

jeez. [/rant]

oh, also, had my lit SAC yesterday. was bad. ish. i honestly dont know how i went - i had no idea what i was doing half the time. so i just wrote. came up with 5 pages. which is good.

also got english results back. got C. disappointing, but better than it could have been.

now im off to finish painting my shitty old piece of shit artwork.

fkn rothko.

//end of line.

"If I could tear you from the ceiling,
And guarantee a source divine,
Rid you off possessions fleeting,
Remain your funny valentine.

Don't go and leave me,
And please don't drive me blind,
Don't go and leave me,
And please don't drive me blind."

So, happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there!

Me n my fam went into the city and looked at art, and we saw the VCE Top Arts. That made me a little depressed, seeing as all the works there were so brilliant and compared to that, me and my lack of painting ability look like crap. So hopefully I'm gonna be able to wow everyone with this book I'm planning to make.... I'm getting a more and more concrete plan of my end of year work as time goes on, so that's good.

Also I've developed this annoying habit of accidentally pressing the semicolon key instead of the comma. But on the other hand, I am now using capitals where they're meant to be.

Oh, and we also saw Sydney Nolan's exhibition. Much of his work tells the story of the Great Zombie Apocalyse of the 50s and 60s. Or at least that's what me n my bro decided. Everyone was looking at us realy weirdly because we were talking about it really loudly. But oh well.

Can anyone tell me how I can change what notifications I get for when people post new entries?

Oh god Nicky I think you gave me your cold.... D:

//end of line.

"It never used to hurt before
it isn't funny anymore
Feeling so alone now,
Funny how you wish some way that
you could die at the hospital

You're quiet on the car ride home,
You're waiting for your head to explode
You're hiding in your safe place
Hiding with your eyes shut tightly
all the way to the hospital"

im so poor, i have less than $2 in my bank account. SHAME. SHAME! BUt im getting paid soonish, so thats good ill have almost $50 by friday.

ah, i want zodiac so bad...

hopefully nickys lending me kiss kiss bang bang so i can see more robert downey jr soon.

ooh, i worked today, for the first time in about three weeks, almost. it was pretty good, except because of aforementioned poverty i couldnt afford to buy a bottle of water, so i was dying from dehydration the whole time.

and i saw a copy of zodiac at kmart, except it was $32.99. which is about $32.99 more than i can afford to pay. so i reckon ill get roz to burn it for me, if shes recovered.

GET WELL SOON.

also i have $8.10 on itunes. any suggestions? music? videos? pixar short films?

ooh, another list. top ten-ish movies.

01. Iron Man (big suprise, huh)
02. Independence Day
03. Zodiac
04. The Road to El Dorado
05. Pocahontas
06. The Departed
07. Se7en
08. Batman Begins
09. Die Hard
10. Die hard 4.0

//end of line.

"But sister you know I’m so weary
And you know sister
My hearts been broken
Sometimes, sometimes
My mind is too strong to carry on
Too strong to carry on"

nothing new really. iron man yesterday, iron man tomorrow.

my whole life right now seems to be just waiting for the next iron man movie.

ohgod.

//end of line.

"Everything you say or do
I am always there for you
Whether you're laughing or you're screaming
No one else could take your place
I will always see your face
When I'm awake and when I am dreaming"

ewwww pork for dinner.

anyway, past, present and future events in my life, starting with last saturday (the 3rd).

SAT: free comic day!

SUN: IRON MAN. BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

MON: talked about iron man the whole day. so good. pissed all my friends off though.

TUE: talked about iron man the whole day. art - talked to roz about iron man. lit - talked to
kate about iron man. double english - talked to be about iron man. german - talked to rosy about iron man. economics - talked to shayaga about iron man. also, shayaga likes michael jackson - who knew?

WED (today): assembly, got exam timetables. double lit, got SAC topics. which was good. then SCO talked about crap. for an hour. oh jesus. then, in the afternoon, SAW IRON MAN. AGAIN. so good. the projectionist didnt realise that there was something after the credits, so he turned off the sound, and that song that goes 'when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie' came on, and weve pissed ourselves laughing (not literally) and started yelling at the guy to turn the sound back on. which he did, and it was awesome!!

THU: painting in double art. economics? idk.

FRI: german SAC. then IRON MAN AFTER SCHOOL. YES.

SAT: painting. then work. back, after two weeks!

SUN: mother's day; going into the city.

oh god, deviantart is being a bitch today. ITS SO SLOW.

note to self - look up rdj & iron mkan art on dA.

oh god i hate pork.

//end of line.

"Angel of Mercy
How did you find me?
Where did you read my story?
Pulled from the papers
Desperate and hardened
seeking a moment every fix"

im not addicted, i can quit anytime i like!

but i am seeing it again tomorrow. and friday.

happyhappyjoyjoy.

last night i stayed up past midnight watching tv. thatll teach mum to let me put myself to bed.... hehe. but i watched the end of csi new york (which was SO LAME), the end of boston legal, which was really good but it was the one where shirley tells denny bout her cheerleading outfit, and theyre sitting on the couch and hes like i remember you used t put your head on my shoulder and shes like i remember you used to call me your sunshine.

and then she puts her head on his shoulder and he sings that song that goes 'you are my sunshine, my only sunshine...' and it was so sad, and i cried. but only a little.

but then i watched this show with this british dude called loius thereaux (i think that was his name, im not sure about the thereaux bit) about this religious cult in america who hate homosexuals and believe that everyone except them basically is going to hell because theyre all 'fags' or 'fag enablers'. it was actually really interesting because he lived with them for like, a month and got to see how they viewed themselves and how, especially the younger people, reacted to how they were treated, and he got to see how the operated and find out why they believed what they believed.

it was so hard to understand why they were like that though, why they believed what they did, and the priest guy who was in charge would never give a straight answer. they all got realy defensive too, whenever they were asked a question that challenged their beliefs, and you got the feeling that a lot of what they said was just them trying to distract you from the fact that what they had to say did not make a lot of sense, and also that they did not have a lot of evidence (even biblical evidence) that what they were saying was right. which makes sense, because its WRONG.

it really do not get how people can be like that, so full of hate.

what was really scary was how the children in the cult were beig indoctrinated, and how they did not have any friends and had no chance of a normal life.

also, i realsied that on april 12th i started putting only 2 slashes instead of 3 in fron of the end of line bit.

//end of line.

"I was standing on the surface of a perforated sphere
When the water filled every hole.
And thousands upon thousands made an ocean,
Making islands where no island should go.
Oh no."

*ahem* yeah.

anyway, coz im bored, and also because i reckon ill forget most of em soonish if i dont write em down, here are my favourite celebrities.

-Robert Downey Jr.
-Brian McFadden
-Pete Wentz
-Gerard Way
-Johnny Depp
-Rove McManus
-Bruce Willis
-Patrick Stump
-Kenneth Branagh

WHY ARE THEY ALL MEN?

note: this is not my hottest celebrities list. because Bruce Willis is old, and Rove's a little funny lookin.

also:



ROBERT DOWNEY JR IS #1 ON MY HOTTEST LIST THOUGH.

oh god i am obsessed.

also, i was thinking about this last night... on supernatural, do you reckon you can bargain with demons, haggle with them? like you do at markets? and like, play them against each other?

observe.

Crossraods Demon: I'll give you ONE YEAR.
Dean: One year? One? Oh, okay.... Well.....
CD: What?
D: It's nothing.
CD: WHAT?
D: Well, it's just that the demon at the OTHER crossraods, up that way, he offered me TEN years.
CD: Ten years? No way...
D: Yeah, no kiddin. AND he said he'd throw in a couple of virgins, too.
CD: VIRGINS? Oh, he's good... All right, Winchester. I'll give you TWENTY years, PLUS I'll tell you how to make another Colt.
D: Another Colt, eh? Hmm, it's tempting.... buuuuut I'm gonna have to go with the virgins.
CD: ALL RIGHT! All right. TWENTY-FIVE, and I'll make the Colt for you.
D: Well, you drive a hard bargain..... Deal!

THAT WOULD SO WORK. I'D TRY IT.

also i now have a huge pic of RDJ on my myspace page. that picture. up there. yes.

//end of line.

"The way your hair swings over your eyes
The motor in my head turns
Wanting you for such a long time
In my mind, a heart, a lesson to learn

Do do do do do do do do
You'll never know,
I'm after you

Do do do do do do do do
You'll never know

And you smell like,
How angels oughta smell
And you look like
You're ready to go

So hold my hand
I'll take you everywhere
Anywhere
You wanna go"